Tuesday, January 13, 2009

For Those Crappy Times on the Trails . . . .

On Saturday, Karen and I hit the trails for the first time together in what seemed like forever, and it was the first time I'd run in almost two weeks due to an ankle problem. I did much better than I anticipated, although my HR got up there pretty good a few times. The ankle was definitely sore after the run, but the rest of me felt great. It was absolutely gorgeous - suppose to have been a high of 68 . . . somewhere, which is a nicer temp than we get during the summer months. Just goes to show that Mother Nature does have a warped sense of humor.

So I have to share what happened while we were running. Okay - Karen was going to be speaking at a friend's memorial service that afternoon. Wendy was one of her very best friends, and she died the day after Thanksgiving at the age of 47 from lung cancer. Never smoked a day in her life, but grew up in a smoking household. That's the background. So Karen's been nervous as heck about talking, and worrying that she'd start crying. I told her, so what? Gives you a good excuse to inject some humor by saying, "Hold on folks. I need to blow my nose or there'll be snot everywhere." Keep it simple, keep it to the happy memories, and take deep breaths whenever you need to. Don't drink any dairy or caffeine beforehand, wear flats so you're not trying to bawl and balance on heels, wear waterproof mascara.

So at one point in the trail, she has to use the bathroom. No problem, that's why we carry baby wipes and baggies. About an hour later, we bump into to our coach and we're all running together. About half an hour after that, she has to go to the bathroom again. Bill and I walk a little way ahead to give her privacy. We're standing there talking AND we're downwind of her. Yeah, not a good place to be. Dang, girl! What the heck did you eat?? Pretty soon I hear, "Leslie, can you come here." Well, in all her nervousness, she has diarrhea and needs extra wipes. I tell Bill to go on if he wants, we're gonna be awhile, and he leaves. Then she says, "I need help!" She didn't look around her very well before squatting, and consequently there were some fern fronds in the wrong position when she went to the bathroom. While she's trying to clean up, the fronds, which now have poo on them, keep hitting her! She has poo on her shirt, up her backside, and every other way. I'm trying my best not to laugh, but it's impossible. She ends up having to strip her shirt off, and she turns around and I'm having to wipe various places on her backside where the fronds have smacked her, and in the midst of this, Charlie, her dog, decides he's going to walk through where she just went to the bathroom, and the fronds hit him in the face! I swear, there was poo everywhere! It was hilarious, and it provided the laugh she needed.

Luckily, she had a jacket with her that she was able to put on, we got Charlie wiped down, too, stepped back into the trail, and there's some guy standing there with lime green sleeping bag over his head. Just standing there. I had seen him walk toward us, but he stopped just on the other side of the stump we were working behind. Charlie instantly goes into the defensive mode, and the guy's all, "Hi!" O...kay... We hoofed it out of there sort of quickly.

Cripes - what a welcome back to the Arcata Forest!!

1 comment:

rustyboy said...

Well, shit, that stinks.