"Want" vs. "Need"

I was talking with a couple of co-workers this afternoon and the subject of grocery shopping came up, at which point I said that my husband and I are going to try to get by on $100 a month for groceries.  Both ladies looked at me like I was crazy, but we don’t have growing children (one of them does), and we are being much more careful about our purchases these days, as are many folks.  Don't get me wrong, once in awhile we will buy something “for fun,” but that is a rare occasion.  We buy extra when things are on sale, and we eat from our cupboards and our freezer.  I can count on one hand the number of times we've "eaten out" in the past year, simply because it is no longer within our budget.

Many of you know our story, what has happened in our lives over the past two years.  It's been hard, but there isn’t much I would change.  If I did, would my husband be sober?  Would we have this now wonderful relationship based on mutual love and respect?  Would we have the growing relationship with God we are experiencing?  My guess is No, No, and definitely No.

What we have had to learn is how to get by on an income that has been cut by more than half.  We’re not the only ones in this position, as many people around the country are struggling to make ends meet.  It hasn't been easy, but it's working, and one of the main reasons is we have come to terms with what is a "want" and what is a "need."

How often do we say we "need" something when in reality that "need" is a "want"?

We NEED a roof over our heads, but I WANT a TV that doesn’t have a blue line that shows up randomly across the screen.

We NEED food on our table, but I WANT to go to the movies.

We NEED clothes on our back, but I WANT a pair of boots that are all the rage these days.

Too many times we let our desires become our needs, instead of feeling blessed with having our needs met each day.  Sure, my husband and I WANT him to be working more, but you know what?  Right now God is providing enough work for my husband so that the income he does bring home is enough to buy the groceries we NEED to sustain us.

Sure, we want to go on a nice vacation, but God continues to bless me with a full time job, the income from which we are able to pay our monthly bills.  And He continues to bless me with extra side transcription work so I can continue to do the activity I love, trail running.  And He has blessed me with a wonderful man to coach me who, until my husband and I are more securely on our feet, is willing to coach me at little to no cost.  (Okay, right now it’s at no cost, but I plan to rectify that.  Are you listening, Gary?)

So the next time you look around and think about all you don’t have and wish you did, stop for a moment, look around, and think of all you DO have.  Is your family healthy?  Are you sleeping in a warm bed, in a secure home, with a full stomach?  Are you bills paid?  Are your children safe?

My guess is that for most for you, you are blessed to have your needs, your true needs, are being fulfilled each and every day.

And the Saga Continues . . .

So - -

Went to the ortho yesterday (01/03/13).  Doc: “I saw you on the schedule and thought, ‘What’s she doing back here?’” Me: “No offense, but I never wanted to see you again, either.”

Anyway - He thinks the problem might be circulatory.  I’m having nerve issues in the foot, it’s colder than the other foot, and the color doesn’t bounce back as fast when you put pressure on the skin.  There’s a main artery that runs along the top of the foot and takes a dive deep into the foot as it heads between the big toe and the next toe.  He thinks that might be part of the problem - maybe it’s getting pinched.

I’m being scheduled for an MRI to rule out the possibility of the beginnings of a stress fracture or bony protrusion pinching the nerves or that main artery.  If nothing shows up on the MRI, he is thinking of referring me to a vascular surgeon.  Also, he has a doctor friend in Mammoth Lakes who not only deals with ultrarunners and their foot issues, but is an ultrarunner himself (Mike Karch, M.D.).  Depending on the results of the MRI, he may call and consult with him.  Mammoth Lakes a 9-hour drive from here, but if Dr. Walter thinks I would benefit from seeing his friend, I will be there lickety split.

As for what I’m allowed to do - basically anything that doesn’t hurt.  If I want to try running, try.  If it hurts, don’t do it.  I asked about still running WS 3-day training camp and Mt. Hood, and he said he doesn’t see either of those being an issue (although he did  hesitate for a micro second re WS).

So I will forego my race plans in Feb/Mar/April (for now), concentrate on finding out exactly what’s going on with my foot, and make WS , Mt. Hood, and (hopefully) Headlands 50 my main goals.  I plan to do some power walking tomorrow to see how things feel before I contemplate running again.

PS - I looked up Dr. Karch on the 'net.  He works with a lot of world class athletes. 

. . . . Again . . . .

So here I am . . . Again.  On crutches . . . Again.  Just a mere 20 days after my last post with my anticipated races for the year.  Now all those plans have more than likely been flushed down the proverbial toilet.

"So what happened?" you ask.  I . . . have . . . no . . . idea.  There I was, running along Elk River Road, minding my own business, listening to some podcasts, when "Wha???"  What was that?  My foot suddenly started hurting in the same manner it did March 26, 2011, only this time not as intense.  The pain soon went away, only to appear one other time for a millisecond later in the day.  I completely forgot about it.

Monday, December 24, Christmas Eve Morning.  Out for an EZ 4-mile run.  About a mile into it - Ouch!  Brain neurons snapping to attention.  Adrenaline suddenly on high alert.  What's going on?  A vain attempt to make the pain go away by loosening my shoe laces.  Run very easy for another 1/4 mile.  Reality setting in.  My foot is injured again.  Slowly limp the 1.25 miles back home.  Pull the crutches out of the closet and resign myself to being on them again.

So that's where I am at the moment.  I have an appointment with my ortho on Thursday, January 3 - exactly one year since the last time I saw him.  There isn't any pain, just the knowledge that when I try to walk on the foot "something" is wrong.  And the nerves are out of whack again, as well.  I'm covering my bases by icing, ibu-ing, contrast bathing, and doing the whole paint brush on the foot thing again in an effort to get the nerve issue under control.  I have no doubt most, if not all, of my running plans for the year are kapoot.  The questions are (1) how bad is the tear this time, (2) how long do I have to be on the crutches this time (last time - 3 months), (3) when can I start running again, and, quite possibly a fourth (4) am I going to be able to run again or is this a weak point in my foot and decisions have to be made.  While I am trying to not dwelling on the last question, I have to entertain the thought.

In the meantime, I have resigned myself to getting reacquainted with my stationary bike (OUCH re the nether regions) and am doing strength training from a seated position on a stability ball.  Whether or not I will return to pool running (ugh!) depends on the length of rehab.  *sigh*  This stinks.  It really, really stinks . . .

The quote in the picture to the right just about sums up how I feel about running.  I can't say I get up every morning telling myself, "Yea!! I get to run today!" Or on the weekends, "Yea!! I get to spend my entire weekend running!!"  But I can say that I love the feeling of accomplishing what only a few  shorty years ago I would have told myself I could never do.

Have said that . . . .

I have been given the Thumbs Up from Coach Gary regarding a tentative race schedule for next year.  The thought of what I want to accomplish almost nauseates me, but that's a good thing.  . . . Right?  I'm going to be 47 in February.  Obviously getting older, not younger.  If I don't push myself now, then I may never be able to do so.

My goals mean more time alone and less time with my husband.  He is amazingly tolerant of this craziness, and I love him all the more for his support.  I hope he'll be able to accompany on at least a couple of my adventures so I can share the experiences with him.

So far on the schedule for 2013:

May 25-27 - Western States 3-Day Training Camp (70 Miles)
July 13 - Mt. Hood 50

Tentatively on the schedule:
Feb 9 - American Canyon 50k, Auburn, CA
Mar 16 - Rodeo Valley 50k, Marin Headlands, San Fran, CA
Apr 21 - Sunsweet 50k, Redbluff, CA
Sept - Headlands 50, Marin Headlands, San Fran, CA

The February, March, and April dates are what have my butt puckering a bit, so I need to give myself some more think time before committing, because as all us runners know, committing = non-fundable $$.

Headlands - I'm waiting for PCTR to get their 2013 schedule posted to see if they're actually going to run it and, if so, will it be in September.

I'm getting tired just thinking about it all . . . . but it's a good tired.

Meet Our Office Mascot - Cisco

We have one of these little guys living in our office here at work. His name is Cisco (this is not a picture of our actual Cisco, but they look the same).  Last February, my boss and her family went on vacation, and when we arrived at work the Monday following their departure weekend, we found Cisco, a bag of food, and $20.00 in her office with a note asking us to take care of him.  By the time they returned about 2 weeks later, all us ladies had fallen in love with him, and we basically told Lisa they couldn't have him back. 

He has now become a our office mascot and is quite the character.  He's a real chatterbox and can say "kitty, kitty, kitty," "come here," and "pretty bird."  He doesn't like hands, so the only time we're able to get him out of his cage is when he decides to launch himself off the door that's almost always open. (Yes, we keep his wings clipped, so sometimes the launching is more of a thud to the floor, rather than a flutter, depending on how much his wings have grown out.)  Once he's out of his home, he'll hop up on your finger, then jump to your shoulder and sit there for quite a long time. If you're wearing dangly earrings, all the better for him.  He's addicted to hard boiled eggs and millet (aka "birdy crack"), and he's passionately in love with two things: the bell that hangs from the top of his cage and our receptionist, Lynsey.  The rest of us, he tolerates. 

With proper care, these little guys can live up to 15 years.  We hope this is the case with Cisco as he's brought a whole new level of joy to our office.

Rest and Rejuvination - Feels Good!

Who'd thunk that taking time off and letting your body rejuvenate would feel so good?  Who'd a thunk I would forget that after taking six months off last year because of my injury?  (mental eye roll)

I thoroughly enjoyed me seven straight days of being a blob, but am just as happy to get back to some EZ running this week.  Am already looking at my schedule for next year . . . and hoping I'm not getting myself in over my head.  Tentatively am looking at:

Late February/Early March - 50k
Mid April - 50k
Memorial Day Week - Western States 3-Day Training Camp (70 miles)
July - Mt. Hood 50 Mile
September - Headlands 50 mile

We'll see!

Weaver Basin 50k, October 13, 2012

I started out with this long-winded dissertation about Weaver Basin 50k, but thankfully (mostly for you, the reader) I realized I wasn’t giving this race the justice it deserved, nor was I coming even close to conveying how much I enjoyed this race.

(That's where all the fun will be happening - the Trinity Alps)

(Very runnable first half)

I chose Weaver Basin as the last race of my running season mostly because it was so close to home, practically in my back yard at only 2 hours away (normally, I have to drive anywhere from 4 to 8 hours for a race).  The race was a benefit for the Trinity High Athletics Department, and even as I type those words, I find it slightly depressing that our schools have to have fund raisers in order to have activities as character building as athletics.  But I digress . . . .

I drove over Friday afternoon, checked into my hotel room, got my bib number at Main Street Shoes and met the very nice Roxanne (who I think was the co-RD or at the very least was one of the sort of sadistic minds behind the course), and topped off the day by attending the spaghetti feed at the Fire Hall, also a fund raiser for the athletics department.  In doing so, I was privileged to meet a woman who was celebrating losing 95 pounds and a guy who had lost over 100 pounds (both running the 30k the next day), as well as Wayne, who is from Eureka, too.  (Yea! Another local trail runner!)  Wayne and I ended up getting engrossed in our own tales of trail running (he’s run Western States three times), and soon it was time to mosey on back to our respective lodges to get ready for the next day.

(Prepared for the  next day and representin' the 3NJs!!)

Thankfully, Gus Kormeier, the RD, had set the start time at a respectable 8:00 a.m., so I got to sleep in, somewhat.  By the time I arrived at the high school parking lot at 7:30, a number of runners had already arrived.  The 30k and 50k would start at 8:00, and the 10k at 9:00 (I think).  All total, there were close to 70 runners signed up for all three races.  Did I mention this was the inaugural race?  I suspect that once word gets out regarding what a fantastic event this was and how great the trail is, they’ll end up with more participants than they’ll know what to do with (at least I hope so).

(T-shirts hot off the press!)

I had already decided I was going to take my time running this race.  It was the last after a long training season, and I just wanted to enjoy myself.  In talking the night before, Wayne and I figured since we were both going slow, we might end up running together some.  At the end of the first 3 miles (a lollipop loop), I was at the back of the pack (not a surprise), and as I left the first aid station, Wayne was slightly ahead of me.  He slowed down so I could catch up and in that silent agreement that happens between trail runners, we running the next 9 miles together.  At about Mile 12.22 I stepped off the trail to get some salt pills and didn’t catch up with him again until approximately Mile 22.

(Me and Wayne at Jackass Ridge Aid Station)

In the interim, I accidentally went off trail, but only for about 1/4 mile total (um - there are no other shoe prints in the dirt.  I don’t think I belong here), got to feel like a champion for a moment as I climbed the trail to AS#4 to the theme from “Chariots of Fire,” stuffed my face throughout the race with bananas, potatoes, Pepsi (BPP), and red vine licorice (my stomach was happy with this combo), and had the pleasure of interacting with wonderful and helpful aid station workers, all of whom I can only ascertain were friends, family, and parents of the RD and/or the kids of Trinity High.

(Jackass Ridge Aid Station Crew)

I called the RD sadistic earlier, didn’t I?  It was all in jest, but the reason is because of how he laid out this race.  There was approximately 4700 feet of elevation gain, and almost all of it is in the second half.  He sucks you in with a very runnable first half, then at Mile 15.25 begins throwing the climbs at you.  The first is half a mile and full of switchbacks.  However, at the top you are greeted with a sign that says:

followed by another sign telling you you get a  brief reprieve

 After that, it’s an up and down fest that tests your will, but never feels insurmountable.  Your quads get a workout, but what do you expect?  It’s a trail race!  In grading the trail on a scale of 1 to 5 ala Ultrarunner Magazine, I’d say the first half is around a 2-2.5 and the second half is around a 3.5.

(Halfway up the first major climb)

The only time I felt slightly uncomfortable was during the 2 ½ miles at the top of the first climb.  There were a lot of shoe prints in the dirt, but over the top of some of those prints were the paw prints of a large cat.  The question: When were those paw prints made?  With 13 people ahead of me, I doubted the prints were made over the shoe prints of those who had marked the trail the day before.  It was just a matter of whether the cat had been through there moments or a couple of hours before me.  This was incentive to kick it up a notch and get the heck outta there.

At about Mile 19, I hit the 5th aid station and the high point of the race, elevation-wise.  There was an older gentleman and a teenage boy working this station, and they were happy to see me since I was the last runner to come through.  The man couldn’t have been more helpful and was concerned about me getting food while he helped me refill my fluid bladder.  I grabbed some more BPP and red licorice, thanked them for being there and took off.  Wayne was leaving the station as I was climbing up to it, and about 15 minutes after I left, I caught up to him.  Unfortunately, he was having a some significant knee issues and was having a hard time running down hill or climbing.  I stayed with him for about 15 minutes or so, but soon we had another silent agreement that I needed to keep going, so I wished him luck and took off.

There was a lot of downhill after leaving the 5th AS.  It wasn’t extremely technical, but neither was all of it smooth sailing.  Plus, I was getting tired and had to work hard to not use my quads as brakes.  I was happy to arrive at AS #6 and stuff my face with BPP and some potato chips.  As I left, one of the workers told me, “You have 9 miles left.  Cross the road and you get to climb.”  Me with a grin: “Well, that’s disappointing.”  The next five miles was a combo of some good climbing and descending.  I could hear the creek down below me, and at one point if I had been willing to go slightly off trail and climb down some rocks, I could’ve gotten wet, but I just didn’t have it in me. 

(Perty, ain't it!)

About an hour later after descending some rutty service road and starting a little bit of a climb, I saw a guy and dog who had been at the start.  He yelled, “How you doing?”  Me, smiling: “Pooped, but not defeated!”  Him: “The last aid station is just over that rise.”  I had been on the move for around 7 hours and this would be my third and last time through my favorite aid station, Jackass Aid Station.  These ladies were fantastic, and we had the honor of coming through this AS three times.  My third time through, they were packing things up, but were still full of enthusiasm and asking what I needed before I got to them.  I asked if they had extra water, which they did, and I had dumped a couple of cups over my head when one of the ladies walked up with a gallon of water and gave me a good dousing.  It felt so good!

It was four miles to the end, and I’m not ashamed to say I was getting tuckered out.  I walked more than I wanted to, but I can honestly say I was still thoroughly enjoying myself.

(Almost there!)

 The last couple of miles, the course took us back down the initial service road we’d run up, then off to the left on some craggy road (or wash or something), then up to a point above the high school football field.  By then, I could see the finish line down below me, and I hustled as fast as I could down a grassy hillside to the dirt track circling the field, and ran my heart out around half the track to finish in 8:03.  To top it off, I came in third female and actually got some swag!  As I told the RD, “There must not have been very many of us.”  He smiled and said, “Three.”  Hey, I’ll take a placement wherever I can get it . . . especially since the only placement I’ve had before is DFL.

(Swag!)

lthough I was worried about Wayne and if he’d be able to finish, I needed to clean up and get on the road as I had a 2+ hour drive ahead of me.  The results show he finished about half an hour after me, and I tip my hat to his determination.

This was a great course that I highly recommend.  It was extremely well marked, and all the volunteers get an A++ in my book.  Because the first half is so runnable, it makes for a fast course for the right runner, like Winner Ryan Ghelfi who finished in 3:48:12. (Say, what??)  I'll definitely go back.